Christmas Newletter 2024

 

Hello hello and a happy Christmas,

I trust my letter finds you well - and by well I mean ensnared by vice and falling asleep on a sofa, plotting the next massive family argument. Reflection is befitting of this time of year, we are all sentimental from drink and Wallace and Gromit creating an opportune moment to look back on all the happy memories and all we have achieved. Yes there were many miserable memories and many things that went unachieved but sorrow is as fleeting as a leaf on a breeze. Shall we look back on Four Blokes's 2024? I do believe we shall...

Supporting Belle Dame, 21st January 2024

The year began as it often does with January- in a cold dirty shed with only a three-wheeled radiator for warmth, Four Blokes began rehearsal for their first concert appearance of the year - opening for Belle Dame at "The Joiners". With George playing another gig the same day with One Lung.... snore... (apologies reader - I am merely drowsy from excess wine consumption and of course am making no comment on that band) we brought Charlie in from Big Tesco. We took the stage to sing Head Shoulders Knees and Toes with the Pornhub intro as a prefix - Dawid decided he had seen enough and left the band with immediate effect. I was amused by a couple standing very near the front who had what I can only describe as the Love Island look. They did seem to enjoy it I must say and at this moment they are likely delighted with the glut of Yankee Candles and clothes from high street fashion retailer Next they have bought each other.

And when I said I wanted pain...

A few days after the Belle Dame support we announced our second Heartbreakers headline with a lovely poster referencing "The Yellow Book" often regarded as the bible of Decendant Literature, a style native to the late 19th century with delightfully florid language and am abandonment of the Christian moral tale. Anyways - Tom was bought in to replace Dawid and George returned. At least he said he would; rehearsals were repeatedly marred by his absence. Add to that little Tommy's low tolerance - two puff Tommy we call him and he forgets how to play a chord - and we were sounding pretty shite. Tiago threatened to go on strike if the last rehearsal didn't go well - eventually he decided "that will have to do". 

It does you no harm to "rock"

Tickets weren't exactly flying off the shelf either. Come March I was there, armed with my stamp, Harry the doorman, expecting Harry the singer to be performing to 9 people. It was 52 in the end which I will take all day long - lots of lesbians. Lesbians love Four Blokes and we love them back. Set went alright, live debut for Synchronise, ended with "Evil Wizard" from Uncle Grandpa - at the time we were all having a reet laugh but in retrospect the band was breaking up on stage. With fresh emotional scars we went to the four corners of the Earth - I spent a month living in France, Tiago went back home to Portugal for their Freedom day celebrations, Tom rented a caravan in New Zealand, and George went to the vape shop with someone else's money. By the time we all returned to England the situation had changed.

A short-sighted post...

At the end of April Tiago left the band - "the joy is gone" - and I sacked George. Four Blokes was me and Tom. Tricky situation... A gig seemed implausible at this stage so in June me and former Bloke Tiago returned to the shed to make another hit record. Did a bit of fence painting while we were at it. We recorded Synchronise and a couple days later mended a few bits on Cara and Click My Fingers but got stoned and sacked it off. Soon after that a surprisingly quick return to rehearsals - Harry, Tom, Lewis and Isaac. Isaac from Auden - not sure how I fluked that one. 

This year "Party Drug" got a sax part

The new lineup took to the stage in July supporting Bishopskin the 25-piece Christian crank wave band. What a load of weirdos - yer man was barefoot banging on his belly. Good records though. We played tracks off our unreleased first album and our unreleased second album - live debut for "Not Worth Hearing", god knows when you will hear it. Not sure what the non-denomenial headliners thought of "Light of the Lord"... also covered "Fairy Lights" for a laugh. We were pretty chuffed with that gig so, with renewed confidence, I booked the Hobbit for a headline. 

Get back to work, Iberian!

On July 31st me and Tiago rolled a few and finished the rest of the album. I overdubbed 5 or 6 vocals, missing guitar parts were added, and we recorded "The Desert Song". At long last, after 2 years of struggling along, the album was finished. Apart from mixing and mastering- hmm...

Ollie was off getting pints for thirsty boys

In August, I sacked Lewis for off-the-field issues and got a massively upgraded replacement with Ollie - also from Auden. Four Blokes was now 50% Auden. The Hobbit headline could well be the most fun I've ever had doing a gig - we all got royally pissed on cheap booze and put in a pretty technically lousy performance (2 rehearsals, very Four Blokes) with out of key guitar that would give up half way through the song and tabs read off a phone. All the usual tracks plus an additional Auden cover - banging the tambourine on "Petty". Tiago returned to the stage for Party Drug while Ollie went off to get a round of drinks. While we waited for our pints I filled the space with some a-capella Irish rebel songs.. after "Torture" me and Isaac switched around and I played drums on Munter as he sang the one line he knew over and over. The craic was amazing and the crowd was fantastic. We all had a reet good booze up and a reet good laugh. We ended up in Trilogy and I ended up with lipstick all over my face - as I lay drunken in the street I was mistaken for a stiff.

Get a load of that! A reminder of mortality

In September I was interviewed by the Soco music lads for Unity 101 - immediately after I was interviewed to be a Binman. Synchronise was released as a single and a few days later we took to the stage again. Music in The City festival was in town and on a blustery Sunday afternoon we played to an almost empty 1865. The crowd were plunged into darkness and the the void drove me nuts - I was laughing hysterically, volleying tambourines and shouting ROONEY! After our shortest set ever - played it safe after a record low of 0 rehearsals - we set about playing "Song in the Chord of A". The ginormous orwellian clock we were playing in front of slowly counted up. 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2:30. We were supposed to play for another 10 minuted but I don't think anyone noticed. Tom and Isaac went off to the station, back up to Uni. Goodbye boys - and good luck! Tiago was also beginning his studies down the road at Solent. I'm so proud of my boys and I shall miss them.

Harvey recording Trombone

After a quiet couple of months loading the lorry up with rubbish and being ran ragged by rats, December began with a trip to Vintage Keys Studio in Lockerly to record the first track for the second album. "Muscovado" was me on a Wurlitzer and singing, a simple and sentimental little song. Towards the end of the month "Farewell Yugoslavia" was taped at Planet Sounds as well - me drumming, Tiago on bass, and Harvey on valve trombone. It's a march discussing the Yugoslav wars and where we are now in the Balkans.

That brings us up to the present day - a year with 5 gigs, 9 members, 1 single release, a first album finished and a second just started recording. I've been through 5 jobs, fallen in love with the art of cinema, visited Tito's grave and fallen in love with a lady who, while a little disturbed, has given me all I've ever wanted. Or some shite like that. Anyways, everybody have a reet knees up and a couple of drinks and some lovely chocolate treats. Love one another and I'll speak to you soon.

Harry

(From Sholing)