May Newsletter

¡Hola muchachos y muchachas! It's nice to correspond with you once more, another addition of the monthly newsletter, this time concerning "May". The boys have been hard at work, in their endeavour to make new hit records - but to little avail... find inclosed all the latest news on Shite and Arse Ltd recording artists Four Blokes.

Throughout the month I have been pursuing the next gig - members of the current lineup have all extended their loan spell, believing a massive improvement on the previous performance is possible. I have not recieved a single response from any venue or booking agent, EXCEPT this email:

God forbid a man strum! No room at the inn for strummers... maybe in a few months when the tide changes and he has too many string quartets you'll see Four Blokes in the big smoke. I sincerely hope we can get something booked in soon simply because I love playing live.

Swim and sleep like a shark 🦈 

I also celebrated my 20th birthday - felt sad and weird to begin with, to be leaving my teenage years behind me, but there is much to come - even if there was not much to come the war drums of time cannot be silenced... to honour the occasion me and the wife caught the train to Bournemouth got stoned and went to the aquarium, after a lovely ramen lunch and some vegan cherry cake... it was nice to be able to eat pain free after my MDMA binge left me with a lacerated mouth. What's hot: screening of 1923 German Impressionist silent film "Nosferatu" accompanied by live violin. What's not: multi-day ket coke and booze binge

A sea of red and blue

I promise we are getting to the juicy stuff soon but I cannot in good conscious fail to mention Crystal Palace won the FA Cup and I was extremely lucky to attend the final; those of a sporting disposition amongst you, especially those with unsuccessful teams, will understand just what it means to watch your boys lift a trophy. I'm immensely overjoyed, it was one of the best days of my life, and I may sneak a few snaps from European away days in future newsletters...

We finally arrive at the juicy stuff! Four Blokes, back in the studio, taping their 2nd LP. The men convened outside The Angel Pub - site of their debut gig, now boarded up with metal sheeting - on an unseasonably blustery and grey Wednesday morning. Taking shelter from the morose drizzles, we bundled into Studio 9 at Solent University. Plugging in microphones, tuning guitars, attaching the hi-hat clamp... it's all so exhausting! A break was needed, so we went down to the University Café for a reasonably priced scran. 

The boys could rock now their tummies were satiated, and we did about 5 live takes each of Murder of Crows and Heaven's Co-Ordinates; still fresh in our minds from last month's concert. I stood behind a collapsible wall screaming and yelping and suggestively singing, Tiago was sweaty and shirtless banging away at the skins, and the string section were implementing the new parts they had made up in a darkened room away from prying eyes. Satisfied with our work we went our separate ways, later to reconvene and scour thorough the nearly 2 hour long file to select the best takes. Nothing could go wrong!

A cavalcade of photos from the session:

That weekend there was another recording session involving the artist known as Four Blokes, but this time only one man was involved. I decided to record Off The Drink just as I had done on the demo - drums first, then keyboard, then bass, then vocals; I went round the room in an anti-clockwise manner playing the various parts and within 2 hours the song was finished. A shedload of fun! 

French Laundry's new recruit

Me and Ava celebrated with a lovely ramen dinner - I'm getting the sense she likes ramen. Zento Sushi do a nice oriental lunch or dinner, for those interested; the restaurant is endorsed by former musical group 'Fraulein' .

The model is drinking "Porta 6"

I arrived at Tiago's, a bottle of red wine in one hand and a carton of sangria and an orange in the other, and we sat in ready to review the recording session. However - the tape had vanished! No one had a copy of it at all, it must've failed to send; maybe due to it's large size. Not that there's anything wrong with things of a large size... 😜

The model is smoking "an unknown strain"

Nae bother I said - you can pop into Studio 9 tommorow and get the file off the computer! And on we went drinking wine, smoking jazz cigarettes, and cooking a hearty pasta meal! 

Who is THIS diva!

The next day I travelled to London - immersed in the National Gallery's collection, yes, but still eagerly awaiting news of our latest tracks. Later on, pint of bitter in hand, across from two puff Tommy, a message from Tiago -

"I have good news and bad news"

I reply, "what's the good news and bad news?"

"I lied and there is no good news - the bad news is all the recordings are gone"

Oh well! I had to move on quickly as kick off was approaching; I had made the pilgrimage up the railway lines to watch the UEFA Conference Leauge final at London's only Betis pub. Verdiblanco scarfs and flags adorned the walls, and the crowd sang all the way thorough; amongst the voices was Ed from Auden/The French Laundry/Escher. The beer-in-the-air elation upon going 1-0 up was short lived as Chelsea put 4 past us in the second half. The result matters not - Manque Pierda. A good time had by all; even those covering the event on bequest of "Joe Sports". Te Quiero Betis, lolololololo. .

Thus concludes your May newsletter, dear reader. What next for Four Blokes? 3 simple objectives

1) Re-record the 2 lost tracks, and record Xylazine Addiction; ensure everything is saved and continues to exist

2) get the next gig booked

3) 3 more tracks mastered for the debut album

Achieve these simple objectives and I can kick back with a beer satisfied in my ability to turn ideals into realities.

I'll catch you round

Harry x

P.S Tiago just sent me the master of Party Drug so we're up to 7/14. Now things are progressing again I have a release date in mind but I shan't set anything in stone until the album is finished ;)